Service

we gift our time
we gift our talents
we gift ourselves
to those we love.

we do not take it
we don't forsake it
we receive it with
unconditional love.

she touches my heart
she lifts my soul
she insights me to
feel godly love.

we give
we recieve
we lift to inspire
in the name of love.

she does this
and i do too
so each others burdens may be light
to show how much i love you.

Narrow is the way.

Over the past few months, ive had the sensation of being sucked into a funnel, but oddly the broad end is downwards and the narrow end is pointing up. 

I sat infront of the Cardston temple, thinking, wondering what i was going to do with myself. i was lost and confused, angry and sad.  and as i sat in the courtyard infront of the temple, i noticed something.... the Gates... there were 3 rather wide entry ways... the parking lot had 2 massive entry ways, and behind me, at the temple, 2 small doors lead to one door which actually entered the temple proper.

The world is like a parking lot, everyone can get in easily, it requires on the effort to drive in.  the Courtyard required a bit more effort, after driving in, you have to get out, walk across the parking lot to the thresh-hold and walk through those gates.   As for entering the narrow doors on the sides that lead into the Temple, that required an effort of greater proportions, a concious effort before actually attempting to enter.

"Many are called but few are chosen.."  and why is that?  "... Narrow is the way.."  why is it narrow?  "if ye humble yourselves like unto a child.."  so i have to give up my will and submit myself like a child to their father?  "he that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it."  so, are you telling me i have to sacrifice my time, my talents and my ambitions for that of some greater being? "blessed are the poor of spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. blessed are they that mourn for they shall be comforted. blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth. blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness for they shall be filled. blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God. blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called the children of God. blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness sake, for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven...."

so many promises for us to just humble ourselves, and strive to be someone who is called and not put our hearts on the "vain things of the world"  

I love the gospel, i love who its made me into, and who its helping me become.  I Love our Heavenly Father, for giving it to us, and for the continual instruction we received from his profets. I Love the Holy Ghost for the guidance, and the testimonies he gives us.  I Love Jesus Christ for his sacrifice for our sins.  I Love Julie, and for her sweet soul.

Eagles

Looming on the horizon, with wings spread wide to embrace the winds of change.
Soaring above all expectations.
Circling in, closer and closer,
The cries of home just out of sight,
But the course is known, there is no need to despair.
Over Mountains high, and rivers wide, through forests of thorns,
I know my course, and my partner as well. 
Closer and closer, i see her come to me as well.
High on a hill, a gleaming beacon in a sea of world.
27 beats, and she'll enter in, 37 beats, and we'll soar together.
Rising higher and higher to everlasting heights.

Have you ever seen Eagles?  when they are courting the one they love?  they dance in the air, seemingly fighting, locking claws and spinning in aerial acrobatics.  They dip, and dive and spin. one flies upside down even!  

As we near our date, to be sealed together in the temple of God for time and all eternity, i feel like that, locked in an embrace dancing closer and closer towards our immediate eternal goal.  I love Her, like my poem says, she raises me "to everlasting heights" 

I thank the Lord daily for her sweet spirit, and gentle love, her brilliant testimony that touches my heart each time i hear her speak of things pertaining to the Gospel of Christ.

My Favorite part of the day.

When i wake up, i look outside and think, " today is gunna be a good day." i go to work, face all sorts of things all day long, and i laugh and shrug it off.  I see my ring on my hand, yea... i wear a engagement ring too, but why???  well, to me its a sign of respect to Julie.  ill wear it as a symbol that she's the one that i want to be with for Time and all Eternity and no one else.  I wear it with pride and i think of her when ever a thought appears in my head that shouldnt be there, and it leaves.  i get home, i shower and get all sproosed up.  Then my favorite part of the day begins.

I drive to Julies house. i get out of my car, i go down the stairs, i knock on the door... i hear "come in!"  i come in... and there she is.  Eyes just glowing with love, smile beaming from ear to ear, and a glow about her that i cannot resist. i give her a huge hug, and a kiss on the forhead and i ask her about her day. 

that is my favorite part of the day.  when we spend time together..  every passing moment leads us closer and closer to our Wedding day.... im so excited for her, and for us.  inside the temple she is going to learn soooo much, and feel soooo much.  it will truely be a beautiful experience.  No... beautiful isnt a word that does it justice, but it'll have to do. 

I love this young woman.  she is literally an Angel on earth. 

Waking Dream

Have you ever had a dream?
Where when you wake from it, it seems to linger on for a brief second or two?
Have you ever continued speaking to it?
Where you ask questions in hopes to get answers?

Have you ever seen?
Where they turn from green, the way they change to blue?
Have you ever stopped?
Where the angels sing?

Ive woken to see her face,
Ive sat and watched her as she slept so peacefully.
Ive told her how much I love her.
And she's responded in kind.

I wake to think is it a dream?
Will i wake and be lost without a clue?
No.

I wake from sleep,
I look down,
Upon my finger
is a Silver crown.

Its a band of tungsten,
that rests there so peacefully,
a Ring, a promise,
to my future wife, who i love so dearly.



Ive had the opportunity to have someone enter into my life.  This Young Woman, Julie, has done so much for my tattered beaten soul.  Her kind gentle words, her soft reminders, her reproaches, and her wisdom have raised me from a deep sleep.  My eyes had been covered you see, by thoughts and feelings of inadequecey.  the Reason why i call this  the Waking dream, is not because i feel like this is surreal (although at times it does) i call this the Waking Dream because i wake every morning, and i thank God that i woke up from my nightmare into this.

im really tired, and i cant sleep well. i apologize for seeming rather scattered and rather nonsensical.  but all i really want to say is this.  when you wake from a dream, and your faced with reality, take stock of the situation, and take control of your life.   dont fall back to sleep, dont fall back into previous habbits.  Youll miss out if you do.  Waking Dreams also means activating your desires.  Let them be righteous desires to activate, let them build you up, and when your firm and ready, find someone similar that is building themselves, lend them a hand and take theirs too, and Wake the greatest Dream together in a Temple of God. 

Sunshine, Fog, and Thunderstorms

Life is fraught with different types of weather and climate.
And when we encounter it, we react.
When its sunny we smile and laugh.
When its foggy we fear what lay hidden ahead, and feel enclosed by confusion.
And when there are Thunderstorms looming in the distance we dispair.

In those Sunny moments in life, we are at ease, speeding along, we feel even complacent and we let our cares fade away with the miles. 
Then the Fog rolls in.  we slow our pace, we drop our high beams and begin to scour for the lines to ensure we dont lose ourselves.  If that isnt enough, hidden obstacles come our way that we need to be prepared to evade.
And then the Thunderstorms rage.  Paths are hidden by torrential rains. Our way is Blocked by slides and fallen trees.  we slow even more, almost to the point of giving up and stopping for the night from exhaustion.

So in those Dark moments, we think, we pray, we work, and we dont stray.
to do so will be to fall, to crash, to fail and lose that which is most precious to you.
You extend your hand,
and hold your passengers hand, a squeeze to calm their fears, and to reassure yourself. 
You grip the wheel tighter, you shake your head, and you move forwards.
The Clouds clear,
the fog settles,
and Beautiful stary nights and bright sun shiney days await.
The Thunder booms, the lightning Flashes,
but your clear now, the road straightens,
There are lights in the distance.

Life is like a Road trip, often you feel Lost, Afraid, down, confused, disoriented, and you think i might as well give up.
But when you think of your future, and you think of those that love you, you'll find yourself, your conquer your fears, your get up, you'll learn, you'll orient yourself, and a new hope will burn inside you.

and you'll make it home with the one you Love.

Day by Day

Day by day it comes closer and closer
Two hearts drawn together by a common love.


Shes the type of girl who really brings out the best in people.
Quiet, humble, but deep.  she really knows how to open you up and let your heart pour out.
I met someone of significance to her the other day.  my first description of her was
"Ive never met someone so dedicated and excited to go to the Temple."

Funny, each day that goes by, i feel myself fall deeper into a warm sense of ease.  Not complasencey, but a sense of inexplicable joy???  its hard to explain.  When im near her or when im alone thinking of her, all unrighteous desires fade away into nothing.  If i have a thought that shouldnt be there, i think of my Love and the negative fades to nothing.

Day by day, i think of her, hour by hour, minute by minute etc....  She does more for me than she'll ever know.  im so glad ive got such a wonderful woman in my life.